Cliche It Again!

I wrote this the last week of 2005 when I got really sick of people saying "See ya next year" as if it was the most original and funny thing ever said.

Wassup? How's it going? It's going! Going to hell in a handbasket because this basketcase put all his eggs in one basket.
Assume the worst except that when you assume you make an ass out of you and me.
Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies, you made your bed now lie in it.
You won't wake up on the wrong side of the bed if you are early to bed, early to rise because the early bird catches the worm.

It would be music to my ears if you faced the music face to face and talked until you were blue in the face because
If you have egg on your face you would save face when you did an about face and cut off your nose to spite your face
That's the breaks and it would make or break you if you break a leg and then break the ice
Because if you're cold as ice you're skating on thin ice and that's just the tip of the iceberg

Hey is for horses and this dark horse has some horse sense for you, straight from the horses mouth:
Don't beat a dead horse by getting on your high horse and looking this gift horse in the mouth.
You're not all that and a bag of chips, just six to one and half a dozen to another.
You're a can shy of a six pack and a happy meal short of a freedom fry.

You can use bells and whistles and smoke and mirrors in your dog and pony show for shits and giggles
But you can't bullshit a bullshitter, 'cause I was born in the night, but not last night.
Another day, another dollar; I'm not working hard, I'm hardly working
Because you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but trick me twice and shame on me.

See ya next year!